Not for the Squeamish!

Ah, Arizona! The wildlife is amazing...prairie dogs galore in our front and back yard, the wandering family of 6 ft long bullsnakes that drops by to torment the dog, and now....pregnant spiders in the garage! I made the mistake of squashing one and killed it sure enough, but also released 50-100 little premie spiders. It was probably the grossest thing I've ever seen, and being a nurse that says a LOT. Having trouble getting to sleep with that image going over and over in my head. Watched "Princess Bride" to erase the memory of playing midwife to a zillion little spiders, but it didn't work. Argh!

Missing Mom

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of Mom's passing, and I've been thinking a lot about her.

She could make me madder than anyone, but she could also envelop me with such love that it was breath-taking. She always wanted me to be my best, and when I fell short, she pointed that out. Not to be mean, but to remind me of the good stuff she could see in me and to keep me moving toward that. Sometimes it felt like she was a person I could not please, but I figured out, rather late in her life I admit, that she was my external cheerleader and coach, and sometimes the coaching felt critical instead of supportive. But the intent was always support with unconditional love.

That's what she gave to everyone, unconditional love. She had an endless amount of love, patience and generosity. She was a loyal friend and a loyal advocate. On the rare occassion when she came off wrong and hurt my feelings, she would always be eager to patch things up so the hurt never lasted long. What did last was the lesson that you keep the treasured relationships strong, even when there is conflict. She actually wrote me a letter once, after a particularly hurtful exchange, in which she apologized for her words and explained that she had learned things from the conflict. That takes a strong person, and my admiration for her grew.

The thing about love is that it gets tested. Sometimes it isn't strong enough, or malleable enough, to pass the test. In Mom's case it was always strong enough. I hope my love for family and friends can be like that. Strong enough to bend when that's what it takes. I think Mom really guarded the loves in her life because her own family was fractured. Her older sisters taught her conditional love, and she really rejected that concept in her own family. That was the strength of character she had...she didn't become bitter about all the old stuff-- she just made it a priority not to let the old stuff color the rest of her life.

Mom was a person who never complained. If things were rough she just bucked up and got through it, she was never a victim of circumstance. She was a victor of tough challenges, but never a victim.

She had a wicked sense of humor. It was great to just laugh with her, to watch her fully enjoy whatever was happening. We shared so many precious funny times in the weeks before her death, and those memories, maybe because they are the freshest, make me remember her with a huge smile on her face and sparkles in her eyes.

Those are the things I am missing, those are the memories I am holding close. I was very lucky to have such a great Mom.

Merry Christmas!

Greetings all! I think this year, I'll actually try to send out Christmas cards. Pretty ambituous goal for me, but what the heck, I'll give it a whirl. I think I'll enclose a link to this blog so my numerous friends can keep up with my terribly exciting life!
We got the tree up with Viv doing the decorating. She did a great job and the tree looks very pretty. This is in addition to her normal household duties of (self appointed) Supervisor of Kitchen Affairs. She arranges the dishwashing schedule and keeps a grocery list going, so she's pretty handy to have around. Bless her heart, she arranges my dishwashing days around my work days. Pretty cool kid. We tried to "fire" her tonight over a tardy posting of dishwashing days, but she refused to be fired and the rest of us realized that no one wanted the job anyway.
A.J. is watching for a guitar to buy after Christmas. He's been saving up money and has gotten good shopping information from Sky and Sage, so he should be ready to make a purchase soon. He's taking guitar at school and has gotten quite good in a short amt of time.
Both are doing great at school. Both are on the honor roll and Viv got a monthly award for scholastic excellence after her Social Studies teacher nominated her. They have a circle of friends and their middle school experience seems much less traumatic than I recall experiencing at West Jr. High. Much to my relief!
Dave is still writing and has a new book available via lulu.com. The book is autobiographical and deals with his family's traumatic experience in Japan. The book is called Abduction at Roswell and you can order it directly from lulu.com. It is a facinating read, even if you don't believe in aliens and such. So, feel free to order it and enjoy! Ha! Snuck a little advertising in there, didn't I? He's been doing lots of radio interviews with groups that are interested in aliens/abductions/etc. so that has kept him busy.
I'm still working night shifts in the Special Care Nursery here in Flagstaff. I don't enjoy staying up all night 3 nights a week, but the people on nights are great and I am making good friends here. (shout out to Cori...I know she reads this blog!) It feels good to feel some roots to this community growing. Now, if it were just less expensive to live here! Flagstaff in some ways believes itself to be Vail or something, so the prices remain too high for what is basically a small town in the mountains.
We have been trying to get to Washington D.C. for the inauguration, but I don't think that will happen. Have been unable to find accomodations without paying over $500 a night with a 3-4 night minimum. It would be a quirk if we manage to snag tickets to the swearing in, but can't find a place to stay, etc! I did finally break down and email John McCain to request tickets. That seemed mean, so I had to write the email several times til I got it right. Also asked our new Rep and the other senator for tickets. If I end up with 12 tickets maybe I'll sell them on ebay and be able to buy a house in Flagstaff after all! Just kidding. I think its illegal to sell the tickets.
I guess that's the news. Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a happy and wonderful 2009.

Civics Lessons

Quick update....I took the kids to Albuquerque NM this past weekend for an Obama rally. Viv has done a bit of volunteering this year for Obama, and she's been looking at issues, etc. She can outline for you why she has made her decision this year, so that's good training for the future. Anyway, we got stuck in a terrible detour on the interstate, and that added 3 hours onto the trip. Put us into ABQ late, so we had no hope of actually seeing more than a fleeting glimpse of him via binoculars. There were 45,000 people there. But we did get to hear him and be part of the process. Both AJ and Viv gave it an overall thumbs up, even with the long detour and the poor view. I'm pleased that they have learned that politics CAN be personal, that being involved feels good, that researching a person is vital in deciding who to vote for, and that voting is important. Nuff said.

Quick trip to Phoenix

Just got back to Flagstaff after a 24 hour trip to Phoenix. My coworker Beth was a finalist in a Nurseweek regional competition for being an outstanding mentor. I had nominated her and she was one of my mentors when I started at Flagstaff Medical Center. This is Beth and her boyfriend Chris at the awards dinner.

Beth is an amazing nurse. She doesn't just mentor new nurses, she is also a relief charge nurse, does mission trips to Central America, and lectures internationally on Reactive Attactment Disorder. Think that's impressive? She's only 26 or so! To top it off, she has an amazing sense of humor and is a truly nice person. Anyway, I was honored to attend with her (even when other assumed that I was her mother!) and we had a great time. They picked someone else to win, but I made sure Beth understood that she more than held her own in a field where the other nominees had been nurses over 20 years.

We got to stay in a posh resort, had a wonderful meal, and had time for a quick stop at Trader Joe's for groceries you can't find in Flagstaff. Of course it was hotter than you know what in Phoenix. Can't understand how anyone gets used to that!

Back to School Blues

The kids started school last week, much to one young man's horror. However, things are going well. AJ is taking guitar class, Viv is taking Art, so they are both happy with their electives. Regular classes are ok too, with some teachers that actually seem to reach the kids. They have school uniforms this year, so that's been an adjustment. Both have a circle of friends that make school more interesting.

Work for me remains slow, with mandatory days off and paychecks that are not full. Bummer. Looking for ways to supplement the old income and will keep you posted on how that pans out.

Dave's latest book "Abduction at Roswell" is nearly ready for publication. Its on a print on demand system, so no upfront costs, no minimum orders, no agents to pay. I read the advance copy and its a facinating view of Dave's family and a lifetime of unusual experiences. Hopefully this will break open the years long lull in Dave being able to get his work out there. He has been faithfully writing, but most of it hasn't found a publisher, so this may be a way around that roadblock.

Aside from that, the biggest news here is the size of the beetles. These hummers are gigantic! Yuck. A lot of them are stink beetles that raise their butts when threatened. No manners, these Arizona bugs.

Enough for now.

"Best" Friends

I just got back to Flagstaff after a short visit to Rapid City. My high school friends Leslee (Wallis) and Barry Best were going through end of life decisions with their Dad Glenn. I was glad I could be there for support and assistance.

Their parents, Glenn and Besty, have always welcomed me into their home. Not just me, but many of Leslee and Barry's friends were given that same open door welcome. Les and I stayed friends over the years, so I was able to stay close to Glenn and Betsy too. We shared many of life's peak moments and a good share of valleys as well.

One of my most treasured Glenn moments was from 2001 when my Dad was dying. I needed a break and went out to Leslee's but she wasn't there. Her husband Steve Wallis and Glenn were there though, and both gave me the kind of bear hug the family is known for. When you are hugged by a Best (or a Wallis!) you are hugged to your soul; it is a most comforting place to be. The moments we shared gave me the strength to head back to Dad's bedside and let him go.

My relationship to Glenn, though incredibly special, was not unique. He and Betsy have a lifetime of others with stories similar to mine--how the Bests touched their lives, filled a special niche, and never asked for anything in return for their generosity.

So, back to the story. Leslee called and said Glenn was reaching the end of life, and I was able to work out the logistics, so I went to RC for a couple of days. During that time I also got to visit with other friends, went up to the folks' graves, met my newest grandniece Rachel, and celebrated sister Phyllis' birthday. Whew!

The main focus of the trip was to help my Best friends with whatever they needed. They were able to get Glenn into hospice and he was able to pass away at Leslee's home today. His bed was placed near a window, so he could see the beloved land on Nemo Road. I do so admire them for getting all that done for Glenn, and his passing was peaceful. What an act of love and devotion they showed, being able to meet his final needs.

I've posted a few pictures of Glenn and family, so you can see this wonderful bunch of folks. Keep them all in your prayers as they grieve the loss, but celebrate the birth of heaven's newest (and most feisty!) angel. Rest in peace, dear Glenn.